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All the characters are in a bar, awaiting the release of Brisngr, and the start of a new adventure. There are the usual discussions of how screwed up Paolini seems to be by messing up the usual norm.

Eragon: *depressed* Man... This whole adventure sucks....
Arya: Why? You're the heroic underdog Dragon Rider! You should be happy.
Eragon: Really? Shall I run down my whole life for you? I've never known my parents, one of which happens to be a long-dead, border-psychotic, cold-hearted bastard, my uncle was slaughtered and my home villiage destroyed, my cousin hates me, weird things happen to me, my brother beat me down and stole my sword, and I can't land a girl for the life of me!
Arya: Wow... Your life does suck.
Galbatorix: Don't worry, I'll put you out of your misery kid. Somewhere in the fourth book.
Eragon: Nah, haven't you forgotten the Law of the Protagonist?
Galbatorix: Law of the who?
Eragon: Protagonist. *chugs some ale* It states that no matter how powerful an enemy is, no matter how much experience the antagonist has, the young teenage hero will always come through at the end with a victory.
Galbatorix: That's just stupid.
Eragon: Hey don't blame me. Blame stereotypes, that's the only reason I'm still alive.
Galbatorix: *grumbles and walks away*
Eragon: Hey Arya, sorry I kinda hit on you during that celebration. I had no idea what I was doing.
Arya: It's okay, everyone was practically drunk anyway.
Eragon: Thanks Arya.
*silence*
Eragon: So does that mean you'll go out with me?
Arya: What the hell Eragon!?!?! Stop hitting on me, compared to me you're a child! Why can't you get that through that thick skull of yours?!
Eragon: *crying* You don't have to yell at me! *sobs* Why don't you love me?! I'm sooooo alone! Woe is me!
*Arya stomps off to the other side of the bar while Eragon chugs beer and gets wasted*
Roryan: Hey Eragon. You all right?
Eragon: Yeah, I'm all right you two.
Roryan: Oooookay... Uh... Is your dragon already wasted?
*Both look over to Saphira who is drinking barrel after barrel of ale. She keeps hiccuping flames*
Eragon: Yep.
Roryan: But you only got here a few minutes ago. Aren't you going to stop her?
Eragon: Nope.
Saphira: I swear I don't have a problem!!!
Thorns: Yes you do.
Saphira: Oh yeah? Listen up shorty! You and I are gonna rumble! As soon as the room stops spinning.
Chris Paolini: Good God what have I done?
©2008-2009 ~IamWolfODonnel
:iconiamwolfodonnel:

Author's Comments

This was something I did quite a while ago. The only thing I'm dissapointed about is that I ran out of writing material long before I planned on finishing it.

Comments


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:iconfoxoftruth:
Well most of this is actually quite true.

--
"You've got more brains than all of us together even if-"

"Even if I am twisted and warped I am smarter then all of you. And someday I will prove it! Someday you-with all your strength and charm-all of you, will call me master!"-Tanis and Raistlin
:iconthe-f-key:
hahaha i love this *faved*

--
=The-Mighty-Badger - my mum, you have to love her, and her gallery
*Dear-Dire-Heart - my little sister, i love her to death and back, along with her poems and songs
*Nyctra - my big sister, i love her to death, just stare at her gallery in awe
:iconiamwolfodonnel:
Well thanks! ^_^

--
A lone wolf is either a survivor or a brute. Which one do you think I am?
Time is so precious. What will you do with it?
The world was going down the tubes. They needed a scapegoat, they found me.
Love, peace, and CHICKEN GREASE!!!
:icontheonlysword:
this is brilliant

--
The most stupid story since the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy has found the internet
:[link]
Where there are no such things as heroes
[link]
:iconiamwolfodonnel:
Why thank you! I'm a rather big Eragon fan and I was bored one day so.....

--
A lone wolf is either a survivor or a brute. Which one do you think I am?
Time is so precious. What will you do with it?
The world was going down the tubes. They needed a scapegoat, they found me.
Love, peace, and CHICKEN GREASE!!!
:iconnever-coming-bk:
Lol!
Loved this - my little shit of a brother dragged me to see 'Eragon' in the cinema.
I swear at one point, I was tempted to punch him for making me buy the ticket...
Still I'm bored && this cheered me up
:iconiamwolfodonnel:
Yeah, the movie was terrible. Hell, they skipped out on all the major plot points. The even skipped out on the Hadradac Desert portion. Well come to think of it... They actually made it impossible for a sequel to take place.

--
A lone wolf is either a survivor or a brute. Which one do you think I am?
Time is so precious. What will you do with it?
The world was going down the tubes. They needed a scapegoat, they found me.
Love, peace, and CHICKEN GREASE!!!
:iconnemo111:
You get a hug for this. :hug:

--
An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.- Gandhi

Purest evil is as rare as the purest good.- Acheron Hades, "The Eyre Affair"

Proud member of ~Khazia-fans
:iconiamwolfodonnel:
Awww... I feel wuved. ^_^

--
A lone wolf is either a survivor or a brute. Which one do you think I am?
Time is so precious. What will you do with it?
The world was going down the tubes. They needed a scapegoat, they found me.
Love, peace, and CHICKEN GREASE!!!

Details

February 22, 2008
2.7 KB

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